Interview Episode 4: Zelda, We are so confused
by Bunny Girle
Summary: You asked for it and now you've got it an interview with Zelda. It's a bit longer than the others but it is funny. Especially when Zelda's Guards go nuts on one of the last two cameras. Please R/R and fell free to suggest who I should interview next.


Interview Episode 4: Zelda, We are so confused  
  
Note: This is someone people have been asking for so here she is. Zelda. This fic is for humor and isn't meant to offend anyone. But I have to say sorry to all you Zelda fans out there she isn't my favorite character in the game, more like my tenth favorite.  
  
Bunny Girle: (Walks onto the set and takes a seat behind her desk which is now Held together by even more duck tape. The phone is still broken and the translator seems to be the only thing that is working.) Welcome to another installment of Interview. . .Again my director tells me that since the Zelda cast is so popular we are going to continue on with the interviews. (Puts her hand on her forehead.) And it seems that he likes to see me lose my mind. Well anyway today we have a real . . .uh treat for all of you.   
  
Assistant: Excuse me Bunny?  
  
Bunny Girle: Uh. . .we are on the air. What do you want?  
  
Assistant: Well uh your guest is here but there's a problem. . .you see uh. . .well.  
  
Bunny Girle: Don't tell me, she thinks every thing is a monster.  
  
Assistant: No not quite. (Is suddenly grabbed from behind and hurled off the set as four guards walk onto the set escorting Zelda to a seat.)  
  
Bunny Girle: Hey you can't just do that.  
  
Zelda: Well then he should have moved. You don't expect us to wait around do you?  
  
Bunny Girle: What? I thought this was an interview with just you not the guards. (Turns to the camera and smiles) By the way our guest is Zelda . . .and apparently her guards to.  
  
Zelda: You aren't interviewing them. You are interviewing us.  
  
Bunny Girle: Wait a second let me get this strait. I'm not interviewing them, I'm interviewing you.  
  
Zelda: Yes, you are going to interview us.  
  
Bunny Girle: Hey I thought it was just going to be you.  
  
Zelda: It is! Why are you acting that way towards us. We are not happy with your actions.  
  
Bunny Girle: Look I am trying to figure this out. Your saying that you want to interview you, right?  
  
Zelda: Yes.  
  
Bunny Girle: Not them?  
  
Zelda: That's right.  
  
Bunny Girle: Ok, now that we have that cleared up lets get started. Now I have to ask this because after our first few broad casts the fact that there is friction between The Zelda cast and the Mario cast is just puzzling. After our interview with Maloon even more Questions have raised.  
  
Zelda: We can set this strait for you.  
  
Bunny Girle: Who  
  
Zelda: We, us.  
  
Bunny Girle: Hey look if you want me to interview your guards then just say so stop beating around the bush.  
  
Zelda: We don't want you to interview them we want you to interview us.  
  
Bunny Girle: Oh god! Will you make up your mind!  
  
Guard 1: Do not speak to her royal highness that way.   
  
Guard 2: If you do we will have to kill you.  
  
Guard 3: And take over your show.  
  
Guard 4: Can I have a snack from that table?  
  
Zelda: Silence. Perhaps we should continue.  
  
Guard 4: But my snack?  
  
Bunny Girle: Sure you can have one. Uh how about you guys join him. . .it might make things less confusing.  
  
Guard 1: No I will stay here.  
  
Guard 2: I have to use the bathroom.  
  
Guard 3: Me to where is it.   
  
Guard 4: Now I have to go. (Guards 2-4 go offstage.)  
  
Bunny Girle: Now about the conflict between the two casts?  
  
Zelda: It has been going on since we were very little. You see our kingdom has been at war with the mushroom kingdom for many many years. Of course it all started back during the early days of nintendo. Back then our two kingdoms were at piece but then the mascot fight started.   
  
Bunny Girle: I see.  
  
Zelda: Yes well of course we supported our hero, Link is of course the best choice don't you agree?  
  
Bunny Girle: I shouldn't play favorites but . . .yes I do.  
  
Zelda: Well after hearing about our hero Nintedo came to visit him. Of course they were also looking at the Mushroom kingdoms hero Mario. As soon as they came to our land we knew that Link was going to be the one for the job. Then it happened.  
  
Bunny Girle: What happened?  
  
Zelda: Peach Happened (Says while holding up her fists.)  
  
Bunny Girle: You mean Princess Toadstool?  
  
Zelda: Yes that little. ..(Looks at her guard)  
  
Guard1: Bitch  
  
Zelda: Sent some of her own guards to attack Link, Making him late for his appointment with the executives of Nintindo. Since that day we have been at war with the Mushroom Kingdom.   
  
Bunny Girle: Uh, why didn't you just say that and. .   
  
Guard 1: How dare you think the Princess would soil her lips by saying such a vulgar word. I should destroy you now.  
  
Bunny Girle: I am getting a little tired of hearing that. Ok so that's the reason? I thought it was something a bit more serious.   
  
Zelda: (Slams her fist down on the table.) It is serious. (The table creeks as Bunny looks at it apprehensively.)  
  
Bunny Girle: Please don't do that again. We don't think this desk will hold up much longer and our budget is really low. . .we don't even have enough to get another phone.. .and  
  
Guard 1: Do not tell the Princes what to do commoner! (Takes out his sword and points it at Bunny who glares at him.)   
  
Bunny Girle: Hey you jerk do you think I am going to let you disrupt my show?   
  
Zelda: (Stares Bunny's ears.) Did you know you have rabbit ears?  
  
Guard 1: My word you do. . .my goodness I think there real.  
  
Bunny Girle: AHHHHH, back off of my ears. Look are you going to be serious about this interview or what?  
  
Guard 2: (Walks in followed by the Guard 3 and 4) Man that was one nice bathroom.  
  
Guard 3: I wonder if this place is hiring.  
  
Guard 4: Hey that woman has rabbit ears!  
  
Bunny Girle: ALL RIGHT WE HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT I HAVE RABBIT EARS! Maybe that is why they call me, BUNNY GIRLE! Now can I finish asking my questions so we can go to the phones and then get this whole interview over with.  
  
Zelda: Very well you man continue interviewing us.  
  
Bunny Girle:(Turns red and sweat drops) Don't start that again. I tell you if our guest isn't mooing they are referring to themselves as we.   
  
Zelda: Oh you must mean Maloon. She does moo allot  
  
Bunny Girle: Compared to you she is not that annoying.  
  
Guard 1, 2, 3, and 4: Watch your mouth,  
  
Zelda: (Crosses her arms.) IF you do not stop acting so horrible to us then we will end this interview.  
  
Bunny Girle: Ok. . .On to the next question. Do you have any feelings for Link? We already know how he feels towards you but we would like to here your side of the story.  
  
Zelda: Are you making fun of us?  
  
Bunny Girle: What?  
  
Zelda: You are talking like use and we do not approve.  
  
Bunny Girle: I mean us here at the station. . . God you are full of yourself aren't you?  
  
Zelda: We do not share our feelings with commoners.  
  
Bunny Girle: Well then how about one more question before we go to the phones. I thought for sure you'd want to tell your side.  
  
Zelda: You were wrong.  
  
Bunny Girle: Ok. This is important. Why did you send Link to the future to battle Gannon? Why didn't you just give him an army and run down Gannon like a dog? I mean just because Gannon was beaten in the future doesn't mean he wouldn't be a threat in the past right?  
  
Zelda: (Looking speechless.) We. . .er. . .well that is . . .  
  
Bunny Girle: You didn't think to do it huh?  
  
Guard 1: How dare you.  
  
Bunny Girle: Well it's a good question, if you can't answer it then we'll go to the phones.  
  
Zelda: Very well we shall go to the phones (Stands.)  
  
Bunny Girle: What are you doing?  
  
Zelda: Are we not going to travel to the Phones?  
  
Bunny Girle: I keep forgetting that you don't know what a phone is. Look it's not a place it's a thing that lets you talk to people far away.  
  
Zelda: (Sits back down) Oh We see.  
  
Bunny Girle: Caller your on the air. . .Caller?   
  
Voice: Hi, am I on the air?  
  
Bunny Girle: Yes your on the air.  
  
Voice: Hi?  
  
Bunny Girle: Yes your on the air?  
  
Voice: So I'm on the air?  
  
Bunny Girle: Yes.  
  
Voice: Oh good. . . YOU STUPID BITCH HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BITCH ON UNIVERSAL TELEVISION!  
  
Zelda: PEACH! You. .(looks at Guard 1)  
  
Guard 1: Bitch  
  
Zelda: You dare to insult us?  
  
Peach: Your darn right. . .hey am I still on the air?  
  
Bunny Girle: YES! . . .(shakes her head.) How did I know it was going to be a Mario Bors. cast member? Well just call me a psychic.  
  
Zelda: We guess you can't handle the truth. That we are the most beautiful and the most powerful.  
  
Peach: Hey don't you get so snobby with me. After what you did to our kingdom your lucky to be standing.  
  
Zelda: Such a minor threat from such a weakling. We have the strongest armies. . .The strongest hero . . .and we have the most brains. What do you have? Mushrooms.  
  
Peach: Hey there's allot more to my kingdom than just mushrooms.  
  
Zelda: Like what? Where are you? Come out and face us? Did you send these giant one eyed monsters to attack us?  
  
Bunny Girle: One eyed monsters? ? ?Oh no that's not a monster it's a . . .  
  
Guard 1, 2, 3 and 4: (All attack one of the last remaining cameras.) Die you horrid beast! (The camera man runs scramming from the studio as the last reaming cameraman begins to shake as he tries to hold the last camera steady.  
  
Bunny Girle: HEY THAT WAS OUR CAMERA! STAY AWAY FROM THE OTHER ONE IT'S THE LAST ONE WE HAVE!  
  
Guard 1: The threat has been destroyed, we will leave that monster alive so that it shall die from LONELINESS.  
  
Guard 2: That's horrible. We should take it home with us.  
  
Zelda: We will destroy you Peach.  
  
Peach: Hello? Am I on the air?  
  
Bunny Girle: YES!  
  
Zelda: We have found you! (Grabs a sword from one of the guards and holds it above her head.) Die and rot in (Looks at Guard 1). . .  
  
Guard 1: The fiery pits of hell.  
  
Zelda: (Brings down the sword cutting the phone into pieces as she does the desk splinters and falls to the ground with a clatter.) Now We have beaten her.  
  
Guards :(Clap and cheer)   
  
Bunny Girle: GET OFF MY SET!  
  
Zelda: Yes it is time for us to leave we have many things we must do.  
  
Bunny Girle: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!  
  
Zelda: We bid you good bye and farewell.  
  
Guard 1: Good bye fool  
  
Guard 2: Thanks for the use of your bathroom. I mean I really had to go.  
  
Guard 3: You know I have allot of talent if you ever need a cohost.  
  
Guard 4: Do you mind if I take the last cupcake? No? Thanks.  
  
Bunny Girle: (Watches them leave) Well that is it for our show to day. (Frowns into the camera) Apparently you people like it when I lose my mind so tune in for our next installment. Hopefully. . . .Awww who am I kidding this is as civil as this show is ever going to get.   
  
  
  



End file.
